How do you guys stop?
- Thread starter keepitcovered
- Start date
ENCOURAGING SIGNS OF PROGRESS
I had a date planned with my tall thin lovely well-groomed sexy Asian goddess for a very romantic yet extremely vigorous long-play pouncing that our relationship has grown into. It’s as close to a girlfriend relationship as a pro could ever be for me. We communicate daily, briefly.
Anyway, needless to say, I am foaming at the mouth like a depraved hyena in anticipation of how much further we can advance our lustful sessions, as I get up early, getting my dutiful chores out of the way, swabbing the deck, washing clothes, et cetera, so I can go into this event with a clear head.
In these parts where I find myself, some Asian girls fear the sight of the heavier western man. They are afraid of being mauled, molested, mutilated, manhandled by a foreigner who is hung like a donkey, in their imaginations. But, my girl seems undaunted by such rumors. She seems to relish my western approach. She absolutely adores being held tightly with firm persistent unrelenting charges, heavy grasping embraces, pounding, endless caressing and nonstop passionate attention heaped upon her. Nice girl. I feel fortunate to find a happy match.
Suddenly, I get a text from my SO inviting me to meet her for a piping hot natural bath in the hills after her hike with her friends. I thought she would be hiking all day, and that my tryst with “my Asian lovely” would be free and clear.
But, quite surprisingly, what confounded me was my reaction to my SO’s invitation. I was completely unperturbed and felt no disappointment about breaking my appointment for my sexual escapade. And, never once did I feel like “oh, shit!!!”
My response was swift and immediate, without even a thought of consideration for my modelesque beauty, and I texted my SO, matter-of-factly “sure, what time?”
And, the date with my SO is nothing but a simple afterthought for her, thinking I probably couldn’t make it, and I could have easily kept my sex date.
It’s just that I realized at this point in my life how much more important are the true people in my life over the sexual interests. The thought that came to me was “I’ll see the Asian beauty on another day. So what?” I was amazed to see how easily I could relinquish the thought of a broken plan for sexual pleasure.
In years past, I would have either kept my plan with the “young Asian filly,” or, out of guilt, begrudgingly gone with my SO, carrying my disappointment with me, clouding my enjoyment of my time with her. (sick selfish monger mentality)
I seem to have come to the conclusion that even a mere cup of coffee with my SO is ultimately more important and satisfying than the most sensual date.
My SO gave me orders, as they are in the habit of doing, to cut fruit for her, pack fresh clothes, a light snack, thermos of freshly brewed tea, a sweater, et cetera. And it was all delightful and fulfilling and satisfying to perform. Trying to perform the menial tasks in the same thoughtful manner that she has done for me for so many decades, selflessly and lovingly.
And, upon arriving, to see my SO’s face, so happy to see me was indeed gratifying. The monger in me is dying to some degree. Or, my growth into an understanding, compassionate, unselfish human being, that I intentionally thwarted for many decades, has become irresistible, despite my efforts to the contrary.
I have realized that I must, as best as possible, return the loyalty deprived her that was afforded to myself for so long.
It is almost like Scrooge (me) being visited by the three spirits at night, suddenly awakening, and realizing that there is still time remaining to set things straight.
Surely, although never caught red-handed, my SO knows deep down inside that her man is a scoundrel. But, she let the dog sniff around for a long time, and have his days fulfilling his fantasies and desires. In my mind, at this juncture, her loyalty and forbearance must be acknowledged and rewarded and I am willing to pay back whatever retribution is due and owing in the form of love, patience, consideration and attention to wipe out my karmic debt while I am still vital and strong, before I return to the unknown realm.
As my years advance, I find myself being aware that with the number of years still in my arsenal, they should be more intelligently and prudently supervised by my better judgment.
At this point I am in no way announcing my complete transformation and retirement from the sport. But, I am able to put it all into perspective. To be able to take mongering and enjoy it fully, as well as to abstain and enjoy myriad other facets of life in its stead, I dare say, just as much, if not better.
This realization is an advancement for me. I am suddenly awakening to the realization that being a victim of mongering, although in my younger years was a magnetized compulsion, has to stand as a lesson and reminder of the past, and not a continued addiction for the rest of my days.
As a result of my recent breakthrough, there is far more of me present in the lives of those around me. Since detaching from my addiction, and relegating it to merely a “hobby,” I begin to enjoy being fully involved , loving and helpful in the lives of those that matter. My home life with those that need me seems charged with a new energy and vitality that was absent for so long when my mind and emotions were imprisoned by the desire to escape the perceived boredom of mundane life by catapulting my energy into the thrills of the red light districts.
Not to say that I am not planning a variety of future lustful rendezvous in my days ahead. But, that is just it, they are plans, wishes, hopes and desires. I might fulfill them if the desire lingers and begs vehemently for satisfaction. Or, I could easily allow the desires to vanish completely by not feeding them with the fuel of feelings, thoughts and emotions.
However, should I decide to participate in a well-planned tryst, I will advance into the affair one-pointedly committed to extract every last drop of sensual pleasure from the event. But, still knowing in the back of my mind that it is just the remnants of a game I learned to relish in my youth. And, what’s left of my desire to play is merely a nostalgic continuum of what once owned me.
I had a great time, with no regrets, mongering. And, I don’t belittle its importance and value that it added to my life.
Recently, I have had an opportunity to employ a level of deep concentration, breath control, study and meditation to refocus and direct the mind away from the constant obsession with sex that has ruled the days and nights of my existence.
I am not seeking sainthood. Rather, just a harmonious blend of balance to replace the savage that once inhabited my being. Whilst I was young, the savage was a welcomed guest. However, in these days, for this being’s survival, the savage’s unbridled enthusiasm into the hellholes he delighted in must be examined and curtailed.
I had a date planned with my tall thin lovely well-groomed sexy Asian goddess for a very romantic yet extremely vigorous long-play pouncing that our relationship has grown into. It’s as close to a girlfriend relationship as a pro could ever be for me. We communicate daily, briefly.
Anyway, needless to say, I am foaming at the mouth like a depraved hyena in anticipation of how much further we can advance our lustful sessions, as I get up early, getting my dutiful chores out of the way, swabbing the deck, washing clothes, et cetera, so I can go into this event with a clear head.
In these parts where I find myself, some Asian girls fear the sight of the heavier western man. They are afraid of being mauled, molested, mutilated, manhandled by a foreigner who is hung like a donkey, in their imaginations. But, my girl seems undaunted by such rumors. She seems to relish my western approach. She absolutely adores being held tightly with firm persistent unrelenting charges, heavy grasping embraces, pounding, endless caressing and nonstop passionate attention heaped upon her. Nice girl. I feel fortunate to find a happy match.
Suddenly, I get a text from my SO inviting me to meet her for a piping hot natural bath in the hills after her hike with her friends. I thought she would be hiking all day, and that my tryst with “my Asian lovely” would be free and clear.
But, quite surprisingly, what confounded me was my reaction to my SO’s invitation. I was completely unperturbed and felt no disappointment about breaking my appointment for my sexual escapade. And, never once did I feel like “oh, shit!!!”
My response was swift and immediate, without even a thought of consideration for my modelesque beauty, and I texted my SO, matter-of-factly “sure, what time?”
And, the date with my SO is nothing but a simple afterthought for her, thinking I probably couldn’t make it, and I could have easily kept my sex date.
It’s just that I realized at this point in my life how much more important are the true people in my life over the sexual interests. The thought that came to me was “I’ll see the Asian beauty on another day. So what?” I was amazed to see how easily I could relinquish the thought of a broken plan for sexual pleasure.
In years past, I would have either kept my plan with the “young Asian filly,” or, out of guilt, begrudgingly gone with my SO, carrying my disappointment with me, clouding my enjoyment of my time with her. (sick selfish monger mentality)
I seem to have come to the conclusion that even a mere cup of coffee with my SO is ultimately more important and satisfying than the most sensual date.
My SO gave me orders, as they are in the habit of doing, to cut fruit for her, pack fresh clothes, a light snack, thermos of freshly brewed tea, a sweater, et cetera. And it was all delightful and fulfilling and satisfying to perform. Trying to perform the menial tasks in the same thoughtful manner that she has done for me for so many decades, selflessly and lovingly.
And, upon arriving, to see my SO’s face, so happy to see me was indeed gratifying. The monger in me is dying to some degree. Or, my growth into an understanding, compassionate, unselfish human being, that I intentionally thwarted for many decades, has become irresistible, despite my efforts to the contrary.
I have realized that I must, as best as possible, return the loyalty deprived her that was afforded to myself for so long.
It is almost like Scrooge (me) being visited by the three spirits at night, suddenly awakening, and realizing that there is still time remaining to set things straight.
Surely, although never caught red-handed, my SO knows deep down inside that her man is a scoundrel. But, she let the dog sniff around for a long time, and have his days fulfilling his fantasies and desires. In my mind, at this juncture, her loyalty and forbearance must be acknowledged and rewarded and I am willing to pay back whatever retribution is due and owing in the form of love, patience, consideration and attention to wipe out my karmic debt while I am still vital and strong, before I return to the unknown realm.
As my years advance, I find myself being aware that with the number of years still in my arsenal, they should be more intelligently and prudently supervised by my better judgment.
At this point I am in no way announcing my complete transformation and retirement from the sport. But, I am able to put it all into perspective. To be able to take mongering and enjoy it fully, as well as to abstain and enjoy myriad other facets of life in its stead, I dare say, just as much, if not better.
This realization is an advancement for me. I am suddenly awakening to the realization that being a victim of mongering, although in my younger years was a magnetized compulsion, has to stand as a lesson and reminder of the past, and not a continued addiction for the rest of my days.
As a result of my recent breakthrough, there is far more of me present in the lives of those around me. Since detaching from my addiction, and relegating it to merely a “hobby,” I begin to enjoy being fully involved , loving and helpful in the lives of those that matter. My home life with those that need me seems charged with a new energy and vitality that was absent for so long when my mind and emotions were imprisoned by the desire to escape the perceived boredom of mundane life by catapulting my energy into the thrills of the red light districts.
Not to say that I am not planning a variety of future lustful rendezvous in my days ahead. But, that is just it, they are plans, wishes, hopes and desires. I might fulfill them if the desire lingers and begs vehemently for satisfaction. Or, I could easily allow the desires to vanish completely by not feeding them with the fuel of feelings, thoughts and emotions.
However, should I decide to participate in a well-planned tryst, I will advance into the affair one-pointedly committed to extract every last drop of sensual pleasure from the event. But, still knowing in the back of my mind that it is just the remnants of a game I learned to relish in my youth. And, what’s left of my desire to play is merely a nostalgic continuum of what once owned me.
I had a great time, with no regrets, mongering. And, I don’t belittle its importance and value that it added to my life.
Recently, I have had an opportunity to employ a level of deep concentration, breath control, study and meditation to refocus and direct the mind away from the constant obsession with sex that has ruled the days and nights of my existence.
I am not seeking sainthood. Rather, just a harmonious blend of balance to replace the savage that once inhabited my being. Whilst I was young, the savage was a welcomed guest. However, in these days, for this being’s survival, the savage’s unbridled enthusiasm into the hellholes he delighted in must be examined and curtailed.